WITHIN
Most people pick their "word of the year" in January. But, as usual, I'm not most people. After a LOT of thought I have finally come up with my word...my theme. WITHIN. For the past year we have all been stuck inside the house, thanks to Covid. I have been stuck inside, but have I really lived within? No...I haven't. I've bounced from room to room, activity to activity...but I have never actually embraced the within of my house...my HOME. It's time. Time to slow down and look at everything within those walls and gauge it's place within my home. As in the KonMari Method, I need to measure each item and each activity (with a bit of my own twist). Does it show the love I feel for my family, does it contribute to our health, peace and contentment, and does it bring us real happiness within?
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On Sunday my son and I went through the remainder of G's clothing. I never realized she had so much, lol. However, in going through her things I was forced to really LOOK at each item, being mindful of how it could best be used in her honor. Was it something that I thought her son may want some day? Was it something I could use to make her son a remembrance? Was it something that J would want to keep because of the memory held within? Was it something I could wear, feeling wrapped in her arms in the process? She was a hugger, just like me. Was it something I could use in my crafting? Was it something that I thought her mother would want? Was it something I thought could be donated? With each piece I was forced to look WITHIN the physical confines of the item and pull out the realm of possibility that lay within.
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By the end of the day I had an enormous number of bags for her mother to go through. Obviously, she would keep anything she desired, but she would donate the remaining items of clothing to a charity that gave to the needy in the local community "free of charge". J was adamant that he wanted to "pay forward" the generosity shown to us, by so many, at the time of our loss. These bags held much more than clothing within!
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Over the past week I have broken down several of G's jeans into useable, fairly compact bundles. I also pulled out jeans that had belonged to me, my dad (now passed), J, K, and my husband. I will request old jeans from my aunt and G's mother. I know somewhere I had stashed away several pairs from my mom when she passed in 2017. They will all be broken down into useable squares of denim to make a quilt for my dear sweet grandson. I want him to feel the love within, every night.
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I now have mounds of clothing from his Mommy, poppop, great grandmothers and great grandfathers stacked throughout my sewing room. All of these will be broken down into useable fabric and will find their way into quilts, pillows, bags, etc. The multitude of family members he has lost over the past 18 months will not be forgotten and I will do my best to keep alive the memories and love they felt for the little boy who has stolen all of our hearts.
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Thus started MY mission and motivation. I have broken down dress shirts from my husband and my dad for use in quilts. There are still a LOT of shirts to go through. I guess G wasn't the only clothes hound, LOL.
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I have gone through my closet and pulled out a number of t-shirts that don't fit quite right.
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After cutting off the bottom edge to make fabric ties (see them used on the bundles of dress shirt fabric a few photos back), I've made "tarn" from the large middle section of each tee. I plan to use this tarn in my weaving such items as placemats, drying mats, rugs, handbags, etc. The possibilities within are infinite. In the process of cutting down these shirts, I've pulled off any buttons and beads, cannibalizing the useful parts within each shirt.
As a quilter, weaver and crafter it is unlikely that I will ever pare down my supplies to a minimalistic amount. However, I am determined to purge away all that is extraneous, leaving behind only the possibilities within.
I have come to realize that this purge is needed not only within my sewing room, but throughout my entire home! I need to hold each and every item within these walls to determine if they are best serving my family. But that is not all! I need to look within myself and purge any lingering feelings of discontent, anger or pain. They are definitely NOT serving my psyche. Only by digging deeply can I find the kernel of truth, usefulness, and happiness that has been obscured by the trappings of a life lived merely gliding along the surface, piling on more and more in an effort to finally reach that pinnacle of happiness. But it has never been a pinnacle, has it? It is in the depths within that we truly begin to live.
