Friday, February 26, 2016


Moving and filling this single cabinet in my new sewing room may not seem like much progress over the past few weeks.  However, accomplishing anything at all while dealing with the myriad of "stuff" bombarding me has been a monumental task!  I'm stressed, frustrated, exhausted, angry, weepy and depressed.  In absolute wreck.  My home is my haven and my sewing room has always been the sanctuary within that haven.  But since January my home, my haven, my sanctuary and my day to day life have been pulled in so many directions!  Every inch of my home and my life is discombobulated!  I'm surrounded by chaos.  I'm stretched WAY too thin and I'm about to break. 

When J and a few helpers moved this cabinet into my sewing room I was anxious to begin making it, and the room, my own.  But, suddenly, I became overwhelmed.  Just the thought of making those tiny organizational  decisions brought me to tears.  In a moment I realized that it was long past time to take care of ME.

For Christmas my best friend had sent me a diffuser and essential oils to use with it.  I had never dabbled in any type of alternative therapy, but if it would help to alleviate my unbearable stress...I was willing to try!  Every morning for the past two weeks I have begun my day by turning on the diffuser, closing my eyes and breathing in the blend of oils to help ease my tension.  When I have finally felt calm, I've set myself a tiny goal...sorting through one handful of printed PDF patterns and filing them in labeled hanging folders, carrying 3 or 4 books down to my sewing room and placing them on the shelf, grabbing one or two notions out of the stacks of boxes and putting them away into drawers.  Tiny goals, easily attained and unlikely to cause any gnashing of teeth or whitening of knuckles.  Slowly, I have organized this tiny cabinet...and in doing so I have regained the smallest modicum of sanity within the craziness that is my life.  And I've learned.  Life is not meant to be ENDURED (as I have been doing since January), but ENJOYED.  We are not meant to rush through this life, but to LIVE it while taking time to smell the roses...and the oils. 

Thursday, February 4, 2016


Last evening somewhere around 10:00 J and his girlfriend arrived home.  J went downstairs to his "bedroom" to pull out clothing for work today.  He and his dear girlfriend are sleeping in the guest room since the flood one week ago.  They are sleeping at OUR house because her bedroom at her mom's house is being repaired after mold was discovered behind the walls. 

Suddenly there is a knock at our bedroom door, waking both me and Dear Hubby. I hear his girlfriend, "Momma, wake up!  J said there is water all over the basement!"  I tore off my CPAP, shoved my feet into Crocs and ran (well not quite running) down two flights of stairs to the basement.  Yup.  Water EVERYWHERE.  J was already gathering his expensive computer equipment off of the floor (too heavy for the glass desktop) and putting it up on anything that will hold it...sofa, bed, pool table, etc.  We go running to the storage room where the sump pump is located and what do we see???


Soooo...we went from a 14' x 27' water problem to a 37' x 27' disaster of 2-3 inches of standing water and carpet that raises up in waves from the floor six inches ahead of your footsteps.  In some areas you can see water seeping above the baseboards.  There is SO MUCH LOSS.  Most heartbreaking is K's (my future grandson) crib/toddler bed.  We have been busting our behinds moving my sewing stuff downstairs, hoping to have his crib/toddler bed moved into my old sewing room to surprise him when they come for a "sleepover at Grandma's" this weekend.  G's (our son's girlfriend) father stood outside of the store, waiting for it to open, so he could buy it for her the day her son was born.  Because he was a month early and born on the day that was "supposed" to be her baby shower...there was nothing ready for his arrival.  We had had a discussion only a few days earlier of how she was going to buy the pieces to expand it into a single bed for K.  J suggested they buy a new bed and pack the crib/toddler bed away for their next child, but G said it had such sentimental memories attached to it that she wanted K to sleep on it and they could just buy a new crib for the next child if and when they were blessed with a child.  She was showing me the teeth marks where K gnawed at the rail.  And it is destroyed.  I was heartbroken...and I know even though she was trying hard not to show it, so was G.  Her dad suggested that he and J use whatever parts they can salvage (especially the teeth marks) to make something that her son can keep.  I guess that will have to do.

After my initial shock and total emotional breakdown, J has refused to allow me back down into the basement.  Dear Hubby says...consider it a total loss, then you can be surprised by anything they are able to save.  This morning I am just devoid of all emotion.  It is ALL. TOO. MUCH.  I spent most of yesterday afternoon at my folks' house because mom and dad are still in bad shape and I am expecting one or the other to go back into the hospital at any time.  Mom was in the ER on Monday, but they sent her home.  My Aunt and I are spinning our wheels trying to help them as best we can.  And now this.  AND my insurance agency informed me that this is a totally separate claim.  "YOU MEAN I HAVE TO PAY ANOTHER $750 DEDUCTIBLE?"  "You will have to talk to the adjuster about that." I don't have any gold fillings or I would suggest they take those.

So if you don't see me around much, after my stating that 2016 was going to find me blogging more...I'm trying to slowly piece my life back together.  I have to remember, though, that things are just "things" and the people I hold most dear are here to support me as best they can.  In the grand scheme of things...I want nothing more.